Happy New Year!

Growing up, New Year's was always a special time for my Mom and me.  As the youngest, by a large margin in years, it often was just my mom and I at home for New Year's eve.  She would make it as special as she could while my siblings were out at cool church dances inside of shopping malls. 

Every year she would prepare a dinner of special items, things outside of our norm, we would sit on the couch with our spread in front of us and we would watch TV.

Tonight, I did the same for my kids.  It was frozen pizza, fruit, Cheeto's and Ritz crackers.  A feast for champions!  We had Martinelli's and made a toast of "Cheers" while we watch Transformers. 

Lucas was trying to copy his brother's cracker eye's

Lucas' 1st Birthday

I know this post is beyond late but I figured it's better late than never.  For Lucas' first birthday, I wanted something very low key, just family, gathered for dinner and cake.  I wanted a special day, where only the one's who are an integral part of his life, and his life to come, could come together and celebrate with us. 

My sister and I had taken a cake decorating class in anticipation of his birthday.  We wanted to make him an awesome birthday cake.  After 8 hours of work, I owed my sister HUGE.  I had chosen a "Curious George" theme for his birthday as I thought that fit him to a tee.  He is my curious little monkey, and I couldn't wait for his birthday to come. 

Well as with all things that you have high expectations for, I was ultimately disappointed with the whole event.  We encountered problem after problem with the cake, having to re-bake one cake, and I came to realize much too late that after the cake was finished, that we couldn't put it back in the refrigerator causing a major problem with the filling in the other cake.  In the end, one cake was short on flavor and the other was mushy...at least it looked great. 

Here's some pictures from our cake class, as well.

 I've realized building amazing looking cakes is much harder than I thought.  So much can go wrong, and this is a skill I have much to learn about still.  It's going to take time to make the sort of creations I envision in my head, but this coming year, everyone in our little family will get a great birthday cake while I practice, and maybe one for Valentine's Day and random Friday's.

Our Nativity

As I was preparing to set up our Nativity for Christmas, I got the idea that it would be a good teaching time.  So I asked LL to help me, and as we unwrapped each piece I explained why it was important and where it should be placed.  He did all the unwrapping and arranging of the scene.  In the end, we discussed the whole story of Christ's birth and he had a firm understanding of each piece, their role, and the symbolism they play in the story.  I was quite proud of my boy...

Until I explained that Christmas was really about Christ and not gifts.  He completely freaked like a wacko.  It made me sad, for one, that commercialism has already captured this little guy so strongly that he feels Santa is the most important part of Christmas.  Two, it made me ashamed, that I let it become that way, instead of pushing the theme of Christ more.  Three, it made me laugh, because he's 4 and he is a wacko but we'll get it eventually.

As for L2, he is walking and playing and getting into everything.  He likes to wash his hand and put on hand sanitizer.  He now says "agua", "Da-Ka" (Dakota) for our dog, and "uh-oh".  I think he has some sort of word or grunt for bye but it hasn't really formed yet.  He's trying at least.

I'll post again, sooner this time.  Bye for now.

The Rock

Lucas loves to play outside.  Every day we go out in the backyard where he can wander around and just explore all he has around him.  He is so curious, he just loves to see how things work and experience everything. 

He is so funny though because he's established a routine.  Each day we go outside, he heads straight for the red banana trees we have, he grabs a rock that is at the base, pops one in his mouth and continues on his way.  He likes to push things.  So he'll push his tricycle or LL's skitter and has a great time.  The entire time with the rock in his mouth. 

I've tried to take away the rock, at first having a hard time because...well, hello? They're dirty!  I have since decided some battles just aren't worth it.  I figure now, he's just building his immune system and he's happy. 

If we go out to the front yard however, he just likes to walk back and forth and tries to follow his big brother around.  That's often a little hard since LL is usually driving his truck around but he has fun trying. 

I love how simple his joys are.  He's a great kid.

Why I love my church

Last night was my ward's trunk or treat.  Leonard was working late and the kids I had to go alone.  Leonard showed up just in time for the trick or treating portion and it was great to have our family together.  The trunk or treat is an annual event my church sponsors.  It's great for the kids.  There is a dinner, and games and trick or treating.  Leonard was working late, and I was signed up to bring food so I had to be there on time.  It worked out because LL was so excited and worked up to go that I doubt I could have made him wait for Daddy. 

I love my church because even though I had to show up with just me and the kids at first, it wasn't an issue.  I had friends to sit with, my kids had friends to play with and it was a safe environment for them to do so.  I was able to let LL run and play and not worry about him.  I was able to let L2 do his thing and feel confident enough to watch him from afar.

All I had to do was tell LL, 'Stay in the cultural hall (the auditorium) and come and get me if you have to go potty'.  It was great.  I loved that my kid was so happy to be there, and everyone knew him and was happy to have him there.  I love that it's not only some place I want to be and am comfortable but it is for him too.

I love that we could trick or treat and I know exactly who and where my kid is getting his candy from.  All in all, it was a great night.  LL was Thor and L2 was a triceratops.

Seattle

My niece recently moved to Seattle for work.  She came to stay with us over the summer while she was studying to write the bar exam.  We loved having her and when she invited me to come up for a visit to help her get settled in, I jumped at the chance. 

I flew into town on Friday night and came home Sunday.  It was a short trip but SO much fun.  I got to see my nephew who is living with her whom I haven't seen in about 3 years.  It was great catching up with him.  He is studying to be a chef and it was exciting (and also a bit intimidating) to be in the kitchen with him. 

Both my niece and nephew are foodies, so we had lots of great food, and I ate until I was stuffed.  We had these amazing burgers that were so huge we had to eat them in pieces.  They live in the heart of downtown and it was fun to experience their urban lifestyle.

Our goal for my visit was to furnish her apartment.  We got a big portion of it done, but of course there is always more to do.  I loved the city and visiting with them.  I plan to go back as soon as I can, hopefully next summer.  Just next time, I think I"ll bring my husband and kids. 

This was the first time I really left the kids other than a 24 hour turnaround trip we made to Vegas, and I MISSED my family.  I know it sounds silly but I did.  I missed the baby most.  He was sick when I left, so while I was having a blast, I was constantly worrying in the back of my mind.

All in all though, it was such an awesome trip!!!!!  I had a blast.

I'm so excited

Tonight, I start cake decorating classes.  I'm taking them with my sister and my oldest friend on the planet.  I'm so happy to be sharing this time with the both of them.  My sister and I decided to take this class together after LL's birthday party last month.  We both thought we could have done a better job with the cake.  LOL. 

Now I'm gonna get some skills, and make Lucas his birthday cake for his 1st birthday next month.  Let's just hope it goes as well as I hope.  I made my first cake, and am ready for my class tonight. 

We're busy!

LL started school a few weeks ago, and boy, how life has changed!  We're busy!  He's only in school 3 days a week, I can't imagine how it'll be for us once he's in school full time.  LL is like a sponge right now, he's so fascinated with learning.  Big L and I realize what an important time this is for him and we encourage his desire to learn...but you know what?  THAT TAKES WORK! 

He is totally into coloring & activity books right now.  I go to the Dollar Tree and buy like 5-6 at a time and he is just whizzing through them.  We sit and go through them all, page by page.  He's learning his letters and the sounds that accompany them, so we work on his flash cards, and his alpha friends.  We read books.  Let me tell you, we read books!  It's exhausting but totally worth it.  He has learned to write his name already and it is very rewarding to see how he has grown in just the short time he has been in school.

I know how blessed I am to be able to stay home and raise my children.  I hope to be able to maximize that benefit and put as much into my kids as possible.  The funny thing is though, in order to do that, other things have to slide.  My house isn't as tidy as I would like it to be, we're not living in squalor or anything but it's just not the way I like it.  It's alright though, I'll figure out how to balance it all soon enough (that's what I keep telling myself).  For now though, I just don't understand how those super mom's out there do it all. I wish I knew their secrets because by the end of the day, I'm tired. 

I'm tired but I'm happy.  My kids are happy, and my husband is happy.  That's all that matters...

Lucas has started walking

This last week, Lucas took his first actual steps, which I thankfully was able to capture on camera.

This is the picture of his first real steps

He took a few steps walking from the dinner table to the kitchen, it was all very exciting.  Then, this weekend, on September 11th of all days, he just started walking.  I was in the kitchen and I could hear him coming up behind me, and I realized...he's not crawling.  I turned to find my little man, walking and he just kept walking - all evening.

He's still going back and forth, between walking and crawling, but everyday he's getting braver and braver.  He'll be running before long. 

Speech Assessment & Therapy

It's no secret that LL has issues with his speech, as to what those issues were, we still didn't have any idea.  Anytime we addressed the issue at well visits our pediatrician assured us that it was not the time to worry.  Recently however, we noticed a change and knew things had come to a head and now was the time to seek additional help. 

LL's vocabulary has just exploded, and every day he's saying more and more things, just at a rate that I can't keep up anymore.  I've always be able to understand him, I'm often the only one who can understand him, but there was just so much that I was beginning to miss and it was taking its toll on him.  His frustration level was becoming such that he was often brought to near or actual tears because I no longer was understanding him.  It was then that I realized all the other things he had always done but I never paid much attention to before: like bringing the kids at the playground to me so that I could tell them his name because he was unable to express it clearly enough for them to understand.  I also began to notice just how much I translated for him with other people and I also noticed people who generally had a good understanding of his language were beginning to have difficulty and their increased need for translation. 

Then when he started school, his teacher expressed a concern but suggested we wait things out for a few weeks, and see if being around the other children didn't help things.  I decided at that point, I was done waiting.  I got in my car, and immediately called the district for an evaluation.

During the initial evaluation, they acknowledged our concerns and confirmed that yes, there was a need.  We were encouraged to schedule an additional meeting to have a full assessment and from there we could develop his IEP (Individual Education Plan).  Today was his assessment and she was able to discuss with me her preliminary findings and give me an idea of what to expect in his IEP.

It was good news.  It's nothing major but there are delays.  His specific problem is that he substitutes sounds or omits them all together.  There aren't any vocabulary delays or anything else so she thinks his needs will be basic.  She said she was going to suggest therapy twice a week, 30 minutes a session for the remainder of the year. 

It feels good to know we finally have done something about this problem and that we are actively seeking out a solution.  To his teacher's credit, school has helped, and we have noticed an improvement from his interaction with the other children.  It just makes me hopeful for what he can accomplish by the end of the school year. 

Quarantine

Why is it that when my boys get sick, it rarely is the run of the mill cold?  When my boys get sick, it's something with a name and requires steroids or antibiotics.  For instance, since we last got sick almost six months ago, when both boys had bronchitis and LL eventually progressed into pneumonia, they've been perfectly healthy - not even a sniffle.  Then, last week, Lucas came down with ear infections in both ears, and LL randomly came down with a fever and started with this awful cough, just all of sudden, out of no where.  The next morning, LL woke up with NO voice.  Literally.  I know I've wished he would stop talking on more than a few occasions, but never have I wanted it this way.  My poor little baby was sick and it broke my heart to see him trying to whisper and use hand gestures to communicate. 

When I called the doctor's office, they asked me to bring him in right away as soon as we could get there.  I thought maybe he had laryngitis or something...nope, he had croup and was apparently very contagious.  I was told to go home and stay home and try and keep the boys apart as much as that was possible.  For LL, it wouldn't be too big of a deal, he's already been vaccinated and his case would be mild with only a day or two of heavy coughing but even then it would be nothing compared to what it could be had he not had the vaccine.  Lucas on the other hand, hasn't had the complete vaccine yet, only the first dose. 

So far, he hasn't shown any symptoms of infection, and I dare to hope this will pass without him getting infected.  LL on the other hand has been living it up, with a nice little set up of pillows and blankets on the couch and taking full advantage of doctor's orders to watch as much TV and movies as he likes as long as he is relaxing.  He is mildly going stir crazy but for most of the day he is enjoying himself since Mom isn't pushing quiet time.

Friday he should be able to go back to school and by tomorrow we should be able to leave the house.  Today seems to be the worst so far as far as his cough goes.  I'm well equipped though and have been giving him a steady dose of cough syrup (which seems to do nothing), Vick's vapor rub on his feet (which works the best believe it or not) and the steroids the doctor prescribed.  We'll be better soon and hopefully we can have a cold here and there to further prevent any major illnesses. 

"This is my woman"

My husband and LL have this game they play.  It's awful really.  Anytime LL sees me and Daddy hugging, he of course, runs between us and pushes us apart and points his little finger at Daddy and says, "Stop that!"  My husband always responds, with a chuckle and, "No, that's my woman."  So they start this game of "No, that's my Mommy" and "No, that's my woman".  It should be insulting and it should have been something I stopped a long time ago.  I never thought much of it until now...

Well, LL came downstairs with his Daddy and I hadn't quite made it down yet, when LL looks over at my husband and says, "Hey, tell your woman to get down here and make my breakfast"

WHAT????  I was so glad my husband retold me this when we were by ourselves so that I could laugh, because it really is disrespectful.  No more "this is my woman" games.

LL's first day of school

Yesterday was LL's first day of school, while it is only preschool, it marks a new benchmark in our lives.  He was so happy to go.  He didn't cry or act out, he just walked right on in.  I won't say he didn't look back, because he did.  He was a little nervous, and I could see it on his little face but he was still just so excited to be there.  As I walked away, I had the biggest lump in my throat.  I was letting go of my little boy.  He's my companion. 

It didn't take me long, however, to discover all the benefits of having a child in school.  I went to Costco and was able to bypass all the books, movies, and food samples.  I was able to get in and out quickly and even look at the home good section.  I was able to shop for snacks without someone trying to coerce me into buying the most sugary and most unhealthy of snacks.  It was fabulous.

Don't get me wrong though, as the clock ticked closer to the hour for me to pick him up, I began to be anxious to get him.  As I drove to get him, my thoughts were consumed with making it to the school in time for him that he wouldn't be scared or nervous (since he did ask to be sure that I was coming back for him when I left).  And with each passing mile, I began to miss him exponentially more.  I was happy to see him and even happier to hear about his big day.

School looks like it's going to be a great thing.  LL wants to be an Astronaut when he gets older and we've told him he has to do all his school and study really hard so that he is ready when he grows up.  Yesterday I realized he doesn't understand what that means at all because he asked if he was now ready to go into space.  Ah, you've gotta love kids.

Our Vacation

Every year around this time, we like to take a "vacation".  It really is just a weekend getaway and is usually nearby - Palm Springs, Carlsbad, San Diego - that sort of thing.  This year, we got crazy and went to Santa Cruz and Monterrey.  It was a blast.  The kids had a great time and everybody was in good moods, even Lucas traveled like a champ.  Last road trip I took with him, he cried basically the whole time he was awake.

First we stopped in Santa Cruz, and visited a place called "The Mystery Spot".  I definitely recommend it next time your up that way with some time to kill.  It is a house built on this gravitational anomaly.  I don't know how much of it is an optical illusion, and how much is actually the gravity but there is definitely something going on there.  In one room of the house, near the center of this gravitational spot, if you let go of the railing along the walls, it will literally pull you (quickly) to the other side.  As it is, while you're standing there, you stand at a 45 degree angle because of the gravitational pull and you don't fall over.  LL hung from the door way and came out to a 45 degree angle as well.  It's pretty nuts.

Next we headed to Monterrey and visited the Monterrey Bay Aquarium and a children's discovery museum called, 'My Museum'.  We also stopped at the Dennis the Menace Park and the boys rode a paddle boat, we visited the Wharf and spent a lot of time at the hotel pool. 

On the way home, we drove the 17-mile drive at Pebble Beach

and then drove to Oxnard to spend a little time with Lucas' godparents.  It was a great trip but we were happy to get home and spend one last day with Jacki before she left us. 

 
Jacki spent most of the month of July with us and she has been missed terribly and she's only been gone 2 days.  We want her back.  It was amazing how quickly she just became a part of our household.  Never once did it feel like we had house guests, we just had another member of the family here and her absence is deafening.  We loved having her and can't wait to visit her at her home in the near future.

Skeletons

I've been thinking a lot recently, about the challenges one faces in their lives, and especially my own checkered past.  My life, though I'm not especially old, has been rough.  I've seen a lot of things, a lot of them ugly, and I've had experiences that at times just made me feel old and worn.  Living like I used to, you spend a lot of time feeling exhausted, because you're constantly at war, whether it be with your own self or just fighting to stay alive.  I'm grateful not to feel that way anymore, but those are things that you carry with you forever. 

Now that time has past and I've healed, I have begun to wonder, 'Why?' Why did I have to experience those things and what purpose does it serve me in this life?  Experiences that I've had are things you just don't talk about openly, they are very personal, and you just don't go parading them around.  People look at you a little differently when they learn certain things about you, even people in your own family.  I have wondered what good can come of anyone ever knowing that about me, and often, I have no answers to that, so I just don't share it.

Then, there are days like yesterday, when I suddenly share that bit of information with a room full of virtual strangers and as the words leave my mouth I think to myself, 'Why in heaven's name did I just say that?'  But I quickly learn that perhaps it was meant to be said, not for me, because it's never easy to admit that to anyone about myself, but because someone else can benefit from my experience. 

Sadly, though, that's how it must be for everyone.  To think that no one in this world, in your inner circle,  or all the people who make up this life have not had challenges or experiences that have shaped them is foolishness.  The thing is though, no one talks about these things, because as people, human nature makes us judgemental and mean.  So to make yourself vulnerable, to admit your struggles is such a difficult thing, but in reality, people aren't as judgemental as we think (okay, some are, yes) and can really benefit from hearing we are all "human" and struggling too.

I don't know why I have been given my challenges, and I just hope that some day I can use my knowledge and experiences to help guide my boys in a positive direction and help them to grow to be good, well rounded, respectable human beings.  That, for me, would make make it all worth it.

Best Friend

My husband is LL's best friend in the whole world.  He loves his Daddy and it is so sweet to watch.  When my husband gets home each night, LL just follows him EVERY WHERE.  The best part of it though, is how happy my husband is to have him with him. 

Saturday is their day.  They spend virtually the entire day together.  They go to the gym together, then LL goes with him to run all of his errands.  They get haircuts, pick up the dry cleaning and get the car washed.  That's their thing, I am not allowed to infringe.

When my husband walks is the door at night, LL gets super excited and runs to him, calling out, "BEST FRIEND!".  And when I ask if I am his best friend, he gets this torn little look on his face.  He's afraid to offend me, but clearly, I am not his best friend.  He'll finally say something like, "No Mommy, you're a girl.  Best friends is only for boys."

I laugh, and think it is really very cute.  I love that he has a best friend.

Laurie

Laurie and I first met in junior high (21 years ago).  She and I were immediately inseparable.  Eventually she had a baby and got married and we all know the mess that my life became and we grew apart.  Within a few years however, we were back together and as good of friends as ever.  Then, I got married and she had another baby and again, we grew apart.  Two years ago, we reconnected on Facebook and I came to understand what a "true friend" truly is. I also found that while time may have passed us by, our friendship was as strong as it was 20 years ago.

We both had our own paths to travel in life, each with our own detours.  Yet, we both managed to find ourselves back at the same spot in life.  We have the same challenges, the same understanding of each other, and the same unconditional love for one another.  We both have had to fight our ways back from some very deep valleys but some how we both understand our own journeys.  Today, we both have the same priorities: our kids, our husband's, our family and our religion.

Today, we met for lunch, something we do every 2-4 weeks and she gave me the best news.  She is finally going to go through the temple and while we cried together, she looks over and says, "I feel as though I should wait for you".  She has NO IDEA what that meant to me.  While, I would love to join her, it's her time, not mine.  Her going is such a triumph for both of us.  I have hope.  She and I have the same situation with our husband's not being members.  Her husband (after 18 yrs together) has finally given her the okay.  I have hope.  I watch her amazing children, and I have hope. 

I love her so much, and I thank God he gave me such a wonderful friend.  I am so grateful to have someone who understands the real me, the one who has gone to hell and back and has the scars left to show for it.  I look forward to another 20 years of friendship with her and can't wait to see what the future will bring her.

My beef with Facebook

I use facebook for everything now.  I don't update my blog, which I use for record keeping, because why?  I update my status on Facebook instead.  It's quicker and I get more response.  I shouldn't do that, because while it's nice to share with everyone what is going on, I'm missing important dates. 

A few weeks ago, I was making the bed and turned around only to find my little Lucas was sitting in the middle of the room.  I posted it on facebook.  I have no idea what day that was anymore. 

LL's fish died recently.  I made my husband stop on his way home to buy a decoy because I was too chicken to have to explain death to my 3 year old.  He figured it out and didn't care when I thought it would shatter him.  The things he said were hilarious.  I posted it on facebook. 

I need to leave facebook and return here.  This is my journal so to speak and it is greatly suffering all because Facebook is easier, quicker, and there are more people on it. 

Falling in Love

One thing I remember most about LL at the age Lucas is now, is just falling in love with him over and over again.  I loved it.  It was an amazing experience to feel that much love for someone, to understand the feelings that your own parents must indeed have for you.  It was exciting to think, 'That's it, there's no possible way, I could ever love this little person more' only to find, that I would love him more and more every single day. 

That's how I feel about Lucas.  I don't know if its the fact that I really believed he would never come, or just how sweet he is, but this baby has me wrapped around his little finger.  Its not just me either, everyone who meets him comes under his spell. It's something in his mesmerizing smile and the way his whole face lights up his countenance and yours in the process.  He just has this way.  I love him in so many ways. 

As if that isn't enough, I still have LL who cracks me up and lights up my world in a totally different way.  I have the best of all worlds in my boys and I am just so grateful I am here with them everyday.

What do they remember?

What is your earliest childhood memory?  I can remember things back to about the age of 3, not many things but I do remember a few.  For instance, I can remember sharing a room with my parents in my own little bed and then being moved to share with my sisters.  I can remember being told I was going to become an Aunt and thinking that meant I was going to turn into an "ant".  LL is turning 4 in a few months, and I wonder, what will he remember?

The other day, he asked me if I was going to be "mean Mommy" or "nice Mommy" that day.  It broke my heart.  In all fairness, I had been struggling with my patience the day before.  Leonard was traveling for work and we were going on 2 weeks by ourselves, I was tired and I was frazzled.  That one little question, however, shattered my world.  I was crushed.  This boy is my everything, and I hated that he was asking which Mommy he was going to have that day.  At his age, kids don't lie.  They speak their mind, so that was his honest and true feelings.  I had failed him that day.

Every person on the face of this planet has issues stemming from their childhood.  Not one of us escapes.  I realize that I will in some way screw up my kid, and there will be things that when he has his own family, he will turn to his wife and say, "I don't want to do things like my Mom or Dad did".  Heaven knows I have more than my fair share.  That doesn't mean though that I have to just concede that to be fact, I can fight my hardest to do as little damage as possible.

While that question hurt my feelings in a way I have never hurt before, I am glad he asked the question.  It changed me.  I have tried very hard since then not to yell.  To speak softer.  To hug more and spank less.  We are just talking things out for now.  I don't know what he'll remember, but I want him to remember me as someone who is far from perfect but worked very hard at being a better person for HIM.  My kids mean everything to me.  I have nothing if they are not happy.  I realize it may not even be that big a deal to him, it may have been a 3 year old just asking a question but, just what if, that is what he remembers of me?  It's best if I just try to be a better Mommy, don't you think?

Dare I say, I don't think they like us

Our neighbors, they're odd, with the exception of two, sometimes three.  Why do I say this?  First, let's discuss the neighbors. 

We have "NWC" (Neighborhood Watch Committee) - that's what we call her - she's this Chinese snoop across the street.  She thinks we're renters because we are too young to be in this neighborhood, according to her anyway.  So for that reason, we are beneath her and she is always watching what we are doing.  She thinks my father in law is the landlord and every time he comes over she runs out to check with him. 

While we were fixing up the house before moving in, she walked straight into our house while we were painting to see what was going on.  When we fixed up the BBQ in the back yard, she went into the vacant house next door's backyard and peered over the fence.  Whenever we have people over, she stands in her backyard in a spot she thinks that she is invisible to us and just watches.

Then, we have our next door neighbors.  We hardly ever see them and when our paths do happen to cross, they just pretend that we're not there.  They will respond to my husband when he says hello, but if I wave it's a rare day that I get a return glance or wave. When we were moving in, they questioned my father in law about us, asking questions like, 'Are we Mexicans?' and do we have loud parties because the last owners were Mexicans who had loud parties.  Then they asked what we did for a living, so my FIL told her that I stayed at home with the kids but my husband was a construction worker who carpooled and drank frequently in the front yard with his buddies. Sarcasm at its best.

They have an 11-yr old daughter that up until a week or two ago, we didn't even know she existed.  Recently, however, she has taken to playing with LL.  I don't think they like that.  Once while she was playing with LL, her dad came out and started saying something in Chinese and she responded in English saying, 'but we're playing'.  He said something and she began speaking back in Chinese and then quickly had to go.  Today, the girl came out while we were playing in the front yard, and shortly thereafter was told to go pull weeds in the back yard, while her mother worked in the front yard and chatted up her neighbor opposite us.

So who do we get on well with?  All the neighbors that aren't Chinese.  I have nothing against Chinese people, I love their food.  I just think that for whatever reason they don't like us.

Values.com

Have you seen any of these commercials?  The one with the kid who runs down the street with a woman's purse only to return it to her at the next bus stop.  They're good commercials, and they have left my husband and I intrigued...and then there was this one.  http://www.values.com/inspirational-stories-tv-spots/103-You-Can-Let-Go  It's about a woman's father that is passing, and he's in the hospital. 

The anniversary of my Dad's passing was just last week and I happened to see this commercial at that same time.  It sucked!  I'm far less emotional this year than I have been at previous years.  I'm sure it's just time healing itself, but after watching that commercial, I was totally bummed.  It is a horrible commercial. 

So after six years, the day can come, as it inevitably will and I'm ok.  My Dad is gone, I miss him, but or separation is temporary.  I will see him again someday.  I'm okay with that, but that commercial SUCKS.

You want to know how to look stupid?

Let me tell you how to look as dumb as possible in front of the entire neighborhood.  As I am well versed in this area.  It is quite simple, just do the following.  First, just move into the neighborhood, still be getting to know people, then take your kid out to play on their Power Wheels truck, wait until the neighbors come out to watch.  Then, have your 3 year old completely ignore the boundaries you've provided and start driving down the street while you call them back.  Then have that 3 year old, stop, look at you, turn the truck around, psyche you out, then laugh at you, and turn and drive in the opposite direction again. 

Oh wait, did I add, that you should be holding your 6 month old baby in your arms, wearing flip flops and you have to break out in a full sprint to catch that 3 year old more than 1/2 a block away? 

That was me, looking dumb for all the people out in their front yards this afternoon on our street.

The army crawl

Lucas just turned 6 months!  He's been getting around for some time now, but I kept saying 'He's just scooting'.  Then, today when I put a toy down in his line of sight but across the room, it dawned on me..."Hellooooooo, he's crawling if he can reach this".  Truly, he is.  It is an army crawl for sure, but he is definitely crawling.  How did this happen?  It's gone much too fast. 
At his six month check-up the doctor said he's in the 80th percentile for height and only the 50th percentile for weight.  She's a little concerned about his weight gain because while he's not underweight, he did not gain enough from last visit to now.  So, I must fatten him up like a Thanksgiving Day turkey.  Hurray!  I love fat babies.

We are on day 3 of crying it out.  I had to.  I had exhausted all other options, and nothing worked.  He was still getting up a minimum of 3 times a night up to 5 or 6 times a night.  I was EXHAUSTED!!!!  With LL, I was able to use the silent nanny method, when you stay in the room not saying a word, trying to soothe with minimal touch and no sound.  Each day getting closer and closer to the door, until by the end they can get themselves to bed.  That doesn't work with him.  He can go to sleep just fine on his own, the problem is he can't get himself back to sleep without us.  He needs a pacifier, a binky, a hug, something.  It's gotten to be too much.  Especially since he was already sleeping through the night and just decided to start waking up now. Each day has gotten better but I hate it.  I hate making him cry.  I hope this passes soon.

So that's my Luke.  He's sweet as ever, cute as a button and everyone loves him - especially Mommy

Okay...I'm back

My blog hasn't been working for quite sometime.  Actually my last post, the one about poop, is like from a month and a half ago.  I was about to delete this blog and start another one when I thought I'd give it one more try, and wouldn't you know, it worked. 

Since I wrote that last poop, I am happy to report that LL is finally 100% potty trained and we haven't had any accidents, whether it be pee or poop or anything of any kind, in over a month.  Fifteen months later, it feels good to not have to worry about "the face" (the one LL would make as he pooped his pants) and know I will never try potty training another kid before the age of 3 again.

What else?  Ummm, Leonard and I took a nice, romantic, adults only trip to Las Vegas (sorry to all the locals, it was strictly a private party).  It was great.  I got to sleep.  Irene watched the baby and Leonard's sister took LL.  Did I mention I got to sleep?  It. Was. Fabulous. The show and dinner wasn't bad either, but when a full night's sleep is on the agenda without interruption, everything else pales in comparison.  The only part that sucked?  Was that Lucas chose that night to sleep through the night.  So I could have gotten a good night's sleep without the 4 hour drive and hotel room.  Of course, he won't do that for me. 

I'm not sure what to do about this kid's night waking.  I'm not feeding him during the night anymore, not until his 4 or 5 AM waking but he's still getting up from 3-5x a night.  I honestly think I"m more tired now than when we brought him home from the hospital.

So that's us and the last month and a half. I'll post again soon.

For the record let me just restate that I HATE poop

Most people wake up to alarm clocks, in my case, I usually awake to happy "Good morning Mommy's" or huge baby grins and giggles. Today, however, I was awoken especially early with cries from LL's bedroom. He had pooped in his bed and in his sleep (I didn't even know that was possible) and got his poop EVERYWHERE. It was so gross. We're talking on the walls, on his quilt, and blankets, his headboard, nightstand....all the places he touched trying to get it off of him.

So as LL gagged and cried, I desperately prayed for him not to throw up on top of all this grossness and I could hear my husband gagging at just the thought of the disaster I was dealing with down the hall. Men are such babies, it's no wonder they aren't women. Anyway, that of course woke the baby up. So in the middle of cleaning poop off of everything, I had to stop and make a bottle, tell Leonard to calm the baby as I was currently otherwise occupied. I never got to go back to sleep. LL was wide awake by then, I was starting the laundry, and big L decided he would just go to work. Lucky for him.

Some day my kids will be teenagers and I'll never have to wipe another butt clean again (at least until my husband enters convalescence) and I will never be happier.

When was the last time you saw the sun rise?

I feel like I've been neglecting this blog something awful, which in all honesty, I have been. Life's just crazy. We're busy, and still trying to work out our kinks. Last week though, I drove up to visit my sister in San Jose while Leonard was at school for another part of the classes he's taking at Harvard. I'll be honest, I was scared to be home alone with both kids this time, so she offered me an out and I bailed. The drive up was a nightmare. I usually travel exclusively with my Mom. I drive, and she's co-pilot. This time however, she was living the life like a teenager with a lot of money and her Momma's car in Arizona with my Aunt Olga. Translation = she was partying it up at TJ Maxx and drinking loads of mate. Anyway, back to the drive. I couldn't leave first thing in the morning as I would customarily do, because I had to do my visiting teaching before we could hit the road. So after my two appointments, loading up the car, getting LL some lunch, and feeding Lucas it was 1 in the afternoon before I was driving. The first three hours went swimmingly. LL chattered from the backseat about all things important to him and Lucas slept. We hit Bakersfield, Lucas was stirring and getting hungry so I pulled over, gave the dog a quick break to use the bathroom as well as ourselves, nursed Lucas and strapped everyone back in to continue on with the remainder of our journey....problem was, Lucas decided he had had enough and he was perfectly happy staying in Bakersfield because from that point on, he cried. Traffic was slow and sluggish, and with my baby crying from the backseat for three hours, the journey seemed to drag on and on. Finally, we made it though, hallelujah! It only got better from there. Aunt Nita as always spoiled my kids. She made muffins with LL and took him to the park to fly kites. Lucas was held frequently and just because. It was a great visit. I'm always so glad when I go. The drive home scared me a bit and I finally decided to get up at 4 AM and just haul butt as much as I could before the kids woke. We made the journey in 5 1/2 hours, record time! It went without a hitch, and I got to see the sun come up over the eastern sky. It was well worth it and I'll do it again before the year's out, I'm sure.

Rollin', Rollin', Rollin'

My little stinker pants is rolling already. Can you believe it? Just a few days before he turned 4 months old, he rolled. He's been close for weeks now, but he finally succeeded. He's all backwards though, starting from back to belly where as normally babies roll from their tummy's to their back.

That first day he rolled, he did it again and again. He's only done it a couple of times since then, but he's just hanging out I'm sure because yesterday during tummy time, he rolled onto his back.

It starts...

Half way there!

Success!

It flew by too fast. I'm starting him on cereals now and he's rolling, it just seems to have passed much too quickly. Even quicker than I remember it going with LL.

What does a nap get you?

Today LL fell asleep. I couldn't believe my luck, especially when you add into account that Lucas was sleeping at the exact same time. I was scared to even breathe.

It was a blissful hour and a half. So, what does nap time get you? LL is pleasant this evening. Talking politely and being generally adorable. He even ate 2 helpings of his dinner including the vegetables, not just the chicken and rice. His attitude is so different. Boy do I miss nap time!

We are all still alive but just barely...

The blog these past few weeks have been one of the last items of priority. We've had SO much going on but none of it good. We have just been passing the sickies around and around. It all started 6 weeks ago, yes, that's right...6 weeks ago. Count them, 1-2-3-4-5-6 weeks of us being sick.

First it was Lucas, at a mere 6 weeks of life, but it was just a regular old cold. Then, because I hold him and care for him all day, it was me who caught his cold and was sick. We both made pretty quick recoveries which left me hopeful, because LL didn't get sick. Then, we had 2 good weeks dealing only with Lucas' colic between the hours of 4-7 AM.

That's when the good times really started rolling...Lucas and I got sick together again, this time, I got a chest infection and Lucas developed bronchitis. We had him on breathing treatments and steroids, because he is still too young for antibiotics and because I'm still nursing I just had to power through. So that was a week and a half, then just as we could see the light at the end of the tunnel, LL started showing symptoms. He too had bronchitis, we started him on breathing treatments and steroids too, but his progressed. During this time, Lucas had what I thought was pink eye but turns out was just a back log of mucus that had seeped out through his EYES and sealed them shut.

Then, Leonard's brakes went out and as we drove to pick him up, every one was fine, sick but fine. Fifteen minutes later we arrive to pick up Leonard at the mechanic's, he gets in takes one look in the back seat and asks, 'Does LL have a fever?' I reach back and grab his hand, he's burning up! By the time we get home and Leonard leaves for work LL is completely sick. He keeps asking to be held and just wants to lay there. I call Abuela for reinforcements because at this point Lucas cries his head off every time you put him down. Abuela arrives and we pair off. Her with Luke and me with LL. He starts throwing up and saying there is a bird in his ear that is biting him. I automatically think "ear infection" call the doctor and make an appointment for later that same day. It's bad when you call the pediatrician and the receptionist says, 'Again?Who is it now?'

I get LL to the doctor, not before he throws up all over my car and I have to carry him into the doctor's office because he just no longer has the energy to walk. Pneumonia and double ear infections. Two huge injections of antibiotics and a couple of prescriptions later LL is on the mend...BUT Lucas is still an issue.

He refuses to be put down or play on his mat. He cried all day yesterday with colic - all day. Today isn't quite as bad, but he's still cried a majority of the day. I've finally had to just lay him next to me and just let him cry. Something I hate to do, but must if I want to stay sane. The night before I was up every 1/2 hour with one child or the other. Last night I got a 4 hour block, which is better but I'm still exhausted and can't take anymore illness. So when my husband tells me he isn't feeling well now, I truly just want to cry. And the fact that I have a sore throat and feel as though I may gearing up for a third round makes me just want to jump off a cliff.

Heavenly Father gave us that water

Today, as I reached for my bottle of water, LL looks from his toys and says, "Heavenly Father gave us that water". I was speechless for a second and bursting with pride the next. "Yes, yes he did" was all I could muster. I was so proud of him. He is actually learning something in Sunday School.

Then, when I put him to bed, he wanted to sleep with his scriptures...I don't know how it's possible that he is MY kid, the original heathen, but boy am I hoping that I lucked out with him.

I don't care, my demon child is cuter than yours!

Some days, I really truly don't know what to do with LL. He can be hell on wheels one minute, and the absolute sweetest little thing the next.

Today my visiting teachers came to visit, and in the 30 minutes they were here, he DESTROYED my home, I mean thoroughly. He brought every toy out of his toy box, spilling them all around the family room, and still brought a good chunk of them into the living room where we were, then he proceeded to drag all his instruments down the stairs from his room. He was just crazy today.

We started our day with him getting his hand stuck in his trash truck and I literally had to cut him out of it. Sheesh. Thank goodness for kitchen sheers. It just snow piled from there. He was just super mischievous today is all.

Then just when I thought I couldn't take anymore, Daddy got home and said we were going out to eat. Yay! I went upstairs to change out of the sweats I was in when I fell while trying to maneuver around baby things in the bathroom while looking in the mirror (dumb). LL heard me fall, came running to make sure I was OK and when he saw I had hurt myself he kissed my knee, sang the "sana sana" song, and gave me an imaginary band aid with a gentle little pat. I love him. It was so sweet.

Disturbing the Peace

Last night, I gathered my family of boys around for a prayer. Everyone had just had baths and was smelling nice, their nails had all been trimmed, their ears were cleaned and most importantly, LL was being nice to Lucas. He didn't even mind that I had laid Lucas on his bed while I situated his bedroom.

In our house, we hold hands while we kneel in a tight circle. LL reached out and grabbed his brothers hand, which lately he has flat out refused to even include him at all; usually choosing to boycott the prayer all together (until he sees we're going to pray with or without him). So at this point, I am feeling all warm and fuzzy and am thoroughly enjoying the moment.

We start saying our prayer when smack in the middle of it....BURP!!!! A huge belch...from Lucas no less. All the boys burst out in immediate hysterics and I realized, I have a family of BOYS...this is my life for the next 18-19 years at least.

2 months already!!!!

My little Hershey's kiss

Leonard finally shared with Lucas, I guess that means he can stay

At Legoland, his brother loves him

Playing peek-a-boo

Meet Tony

We have a new addition to our family, his name is Tony Stark and he is LL's imaginary friend. Tony does everything with us now. He sits at the table with us, he must be buckled in the car when we leave, he gets put on time-out when he and LL play a little too rough. I must be careful to watch for Tony who sleeps on the floor next to LL's bed at night so that I don't step on him. He takes baths with us and apparently, he's joy riding in my car these days too.

It reminds me a lot of my niece Jacki who had an imaginary friend much like LL does when she was little. I played in an imaginary world but I never had friends that were so alive and so much a part of their day as these 2 have. It impresses me, how strongly LL believes in him. I'm also impressed with how well he plays with Tony, sharing his toys & snacks because heaven forbid he do that in real life. At least he has good manners in his imagination. I'm sure someday that will translate into his real world behaviors.

They say such an active imagination is a good indicator of intelligence and if this is any indication that he could possibly reach the same levels of success as my niece Jacki, then I would be very pleased by that.

My Secret Love Affair

I'm having an affair. Leonard knows about it, and often encourages it. I'm having an affair with my bed. I love my bed, almost as much as I love my food. I love getting into a cold bed in the summer, and a bed laden with blankets so it feels so cozy and heavy on your body during the winter.

I love freshly washed sheets, and the way the texture and smell are different. I love laying in bed and watching a bit of TV before reaching for a good book before I turn out the lights.

And sadly, I don't get enough of any of it right now. I miss my bed.

Sunbeams

At the start of the year, LL began Sunbeams, which is the first class in my church's Sunday School program. It's like starting kindergarten basically at church, it's all very exciting. So the first Sunday of the month, we go to the "registration" type thing they had set up before primary started to organize the classes and we find LL was not on the roll. Somehow, his information had not transferred with mine when we moved. So I speak with one of the counselors, get him settled, and tell them his name (twice) because it's still difficult to understand LL when he tells you. I leave, go to my own classes and return at the end of the day to pick him up from his classroom.

On another note, LL recently has taken to pretending he is one of a variety of superheros. He LOVES superheros right now. So on any given day, he can be anybody...Superman, Batman, Iron Man. He's like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're gonna get. Well that particular Sunday morning, he was Superman, and I was asked to call him as such.

So at the close of church when I arrive to pick him up, I call for Superman at the door. I ask the teacher how his first day went and she tells me he did great, then she asks me his name. I tell her, and she says 'Oh, because nobody knew his name, we kept asking him and all he kept saying was his name was Superman.' All day my kid had his primary teacher and leaders call him Superman...all through opening exercises, singing time, and class. Hahaha. I love it.

Rarrrrr!

Last night was my first night back at the gym. I did a step class, which is just one hour and is quite easy. I love step though, it has been my favorite class for years and I was dying to get back in there. I thought it would be a good place to start since I did step twice a week up until the last 2-3 weeks of my pregnancy. I am still not ready for weights or any heavy stretching like I would do in Pilate's or even yoga because of my surgery.

Just getting in there though, was amazing! I hadn't realized just how much I had been missing the gym. I felt as though I was an animal being let out of its cage - totally unleashed and set free. It felt so good. I've been struggling with the baby blues lately, and I think the two were definitely related because I feel so much better today.

I gained around 35 lbs. this pregnancy and still have around 18 more pounds to lose to be back to my pre-pregnancy weight. I have a lot of work to do. Last night, as I cursed out the burning sensation in my quads, I remembered every cupcake I allowed during my pregnancy to shut me up. The food fun is over and it's time to get down to business. I hate the first few days of "getting down to business" I miss all the good food until I retrain myself...and we all know how I feel about my food. Every pound gained with this pregnancy was done blissfully, and I really allowed a lot more this time around than I did with LL. The part that I regret now? Is that if I had been equally as disciplined with this pregnancy as I was during LL's, all my pregnancy weight would be GONE by now. Oh well, that cupcake was worth it...and that slice of pizza, and that creamy food dish and you get the picture.

The point is, I loved the gym last night. I feel totally renewed and truly do feel as though I am coping better today than I have been. Hallelujah, I'm back Baby!

That thing I'm feeling...

I think it's homesickness. I miss Chino. I can only say that in the safety of this blog because my husband never reads this, and he NEVER wanted to leave Chino. When we realized we had to move, I quickly realized we couldn't afford to stay in Chino. For what we wanted, and the home we were looking for, I knew we had to look elsewhere. Leonard tried desperately to find us a way to stay and I was so wishy-washy. I knew we couldn't stay and I was in "movin' on" mode.

Eastvale was a great new city, with beautiful homes, good school districts and my sister was nearby which was a plus. It lacked a lot of things Chino had, like the old mixed in with the new. Chino had lots of little hole in the wall places that had been around for years, where there were plenty of regulars and was bursting with character. It also had lots of new development and shopping and all the conveniences we needed. The good news is that Eastvale is still growing and holds a lot of promise of things to come.

One thing I just accepted when I realized we were leaving Chino was that we were leaving and that was that. I never thought about how hard it was going to be to leave the people we had surrounded ourselves with there. I miss my ward something awful. I had made so many great friends, and my kid had made friends too. Luckily, Chino is only 8 miles away which is nothing, and I still go every week to visit with girls at the park while our kids play. It is a great 2 hours that I truly look forward to. However, on Sunday's when I go to my new ward, and I look around and don't recognize any of the faces (with a few exceptions) I realize how much I miss Chino. Even though I attended church alone (without the hubby) I never felt alone. Sure I would love to have a husband who attended church with me but it never was a big deal because I would go to church and never be alone. I rarely sat alone, and everyone always extended such huge welcomes to me and LL.

I miss that the most. I know, logically, that with time, I will build those same types of relationships and it won't always feel like this but for now, I'm homesick.