My New Year's Resolve

So today, as I was walking this morning my mind was wandering and I began thinking about my New Year's Resolutions. I haven't made any in years, I think it's pretty much a joke because nobody ever really lives up to their resolve. But this year, I have decided to give it another go. Why? Because I think this is something that really deserves my attention.

At first I was thinking of the universal favorite of "lose weight" but then I decided no, that's no good. What I am going to work on is two-fold. I want to focus on getting healthy and learning to accept my body the way it is. I workout regularly and I am easily in the best shape I probably have ever been in, but that doesn't mean I don't have a long way to go. Last year, I participated in the Revlon Run/Walk for Breast Cancer,

This is what it looks like, it is so awesome

and as I prepare to register again this year, I just want to have fun with it. I just want to do it for the good cause that it is, not as an excuse or a hope of it getting me to loose more weight. I would like to finish the course in better time than I did last year but that is all the pressure I am putting on myself. Why? Because when I don't loose as much as I would like to maybe I won't be so disappointed with myself.

I have decided that I need to learn to love myself just the way I am instead of trying to get back to where I was. I wasn't healthy before. To be totally honest, I used to smoke a pack a day and starve myself. Of course I was skinny! But then I quit smoking and I also developed PCOS (Poly-cycstic Ovarian Syndrome) all within the same time frame. I gained 50 lbs. in 1 year. Since then, I have struggled with body image and I am tired of it. It's time to re-empower myself. I've done it before, I can do it again. I need to focus on what I have done. I lost the 20 lbs. I gained when I quit smoking and I am very proud of that. Losing what I have gained due to my PCOS is something entirely different. PCOS causes your body to not only gain weight but to hold onto it too. Losing weight is not impossible just difficult. But I don't want to care about that anymore. I just want to be healthy, be doing the best I can and not hating every minute I'm at the gym. I may not ever be a size 4 again. That's okay.

It's funny how the facial hair and male patterned baldness I had when I first developed PCOS didn't bother me as much as the weight gain. Priorities! I have got to get them in order. So that's my New Year's Resolution - just to get over myself, and get healthy! I have never been an athlete but I did actually begin to love working out and how much it affected my mood and attitude. Then I got lazy and it's a chore again. But I'm working on it.

It's time to look forward

Well the holidays are officially behind us, and today I took down all the holiday decorations. I love Christmas - it is my favorite holiday of the year. With that being said, I am surprisingly happy to put it behind me this year. I can't remember a busier holiday season in a long time. The calendar was packed with lots to do and lots of family and friends to gather with. But I got a late start this year so everything just seemed that much more chaotic. Next year, I have made a pact with myself to start getting ready for Christmas as soon as Halloween is over. The decorations will never come out before Thanksgiving - but I can shop.

Little Leonard enjoyed his holidays. This year he was able to be a little more of a participant than a spectator. But when it was all said and done, he really just enjoyed the wrapping paper and tissue paper stuffing the best.

I particularly enjoyed Christmas this year as it was filled with family. Yes, everything was completely insane and I ran around most of the time...but I saw my family - my entire family. Every single member of the Badal's made it home for Christmas this year....who knows when that happened last? Our family had such an amazing time renewing our familial bonds and catching up with one another. Undoubtedly, this is a year none of us will soon forget and I doubt I ever will. I loved it that much.

The Cueva's were a small group this year, but our immediate family was together too. Little Leonard enjoys his family just as much as they enjoy him and it was fun watching the kids run around together. Leonard's grandfather (whom he is named after) adores his grandchildren and as we gathered together for Christmas dinner and prayer, he nailed it right on. He said 'This, for me, is Christmas. It's not about the presents or anything else, it's about this right here...our family'.

He is so right. Family is everything and I am so grateful for the one that I have.

So now....with 2008 pretty much said and done, it's time to look forward to 2009. Start thinking about your New Year's Resolutions...I know I am.

"A goal not written down is just a dream" - Author Unknown

So Leonard is off on vacation until January 5th (Yea) and we only have a few concrete plans. We will be taking Baby Leo to Disneyland for his first-ever visit and cleaning out the garage. So, over the course of the next 10 days my goal is to go to the gym at least 7 of those 10 days. In addition to that, my goal is to go walking/running every day next week (Mon-Fri) given the weather permits it.

Why such ambitious goals? Because I went back to the gym tonight after having not been there but 1 time in the last 2 weeks and IT KILLED ME. I cannot believe how quickly my stamina and/or discipline deteriorated. Flat out, in all honesty - I felt super lazy in the gym tonight. I got done with my 45 minutes of cardio and had no desire nor discipline to continue on with my workout. How pathetic. The holidays have been very bad for my workout regime. Since before Thanksgiving I have been in a slump. It is time to get back to work and get back in the swing of things.

On your mark, get set, GO!!!!

WWF

So lately Little Leo has become just so loving. He is always coming up to give me a hug and not just me, but all the 'regulars' in his life. It has been very rewarding watching this side of him grow. I am such a loving person it is something that truly makes me happy watching in him.

So today, we're in Sacrament meeting and he walks up to the little girl sitting next to us and gives her a hug! I loved it. I thought it was just so cute. He doesn't know her or had any real reason for the affectionate display but he did it. I was so proud of him, thinking 'Man, I have such a nice boy'

Well we get to Relief Society and there is a little boy rolling around on the floor and just learning to crawl. He is maybe 4-5 months younger than Little Leo. So Leo goes up and tries to give this little boy a hug too! I was so impressed by his confidence....

But then both Tate's mother and I realize, no he is not hugging - he's trying to steal Tate's binky. Well Tate was no chump. He clamps down on that pacifier and it wasn't going anywhere. So Little Leo in his frustration does this WWF move and totally jumps on top of this little boy and totally tackles him. Poor Tate is sprawled out on the floor being pummeled to death by my son. So much for the love.

Because of Lisa....

So Lisa has inspired many members of our family to 'blog'. Each and everytime I speak to Lisa, she makes the same comment - "Liz, you should start a blog"....so Lisa....here it is. My blog. I probably won't ever have as cool a blog as she does, I love looking and finding something new almost everyday and seeing all the awesome photos that she includes. Right now, my computer is such a dinosaur and I am so computer challenged that pictures and video is beyond my me and my abilities. So for now, I will just ramble on.

I love you Lisa