I pushed my edge

Today, I ran not 1 but 2 11-minute miles. I've never ran anything better than a 12-minute mile. I know 11-minutes isn't exactly great, but I'VE NEVER RAN BETTER. I am extremely proud of myself.

Now, however, my tushy hurts. To be quite honest. My quads do too, but I can feel it in my tushy the most.

Waddlers

"Waddlers" is the name of our Mommy-n-Me class that we attended today. It was a good experience and Leo LOVED it. I just can't get myself to break out the $68 a month for him to attend. We can totally afford it, but I just think that is a rip off. When you break it down to a per class price it comes out to $5.80...but for the love of money! That is a big chunk of change to pay so that your kid can jump in a box full of balls, go down the slide, swing, play with other kids and sing a couple of songs.

Although, I do have to admit, it is a good program. They work a lot on motor skills and sensory skills. They encourage the children to talk and play independently. I really liked this one part where they work on the separation anxiety by having the parents go away from the children leaving them to play with the teachers. Leonard can sooooooo benefit from this sort of thing--since as Mom puts it, 'el tiene mamitis'. Which there is no real English translation for it, but it is not a good thing. Basically, he's a Momma's boy x3.

The teachers are very hands on with your kids, trying to get them more comfortable with strangers. Leonard was not having any of that any time one of the teachers, Mr. Nick, tried working with him; but the other one, Mr. Adam kinda just pushed through the protests and eventually won him over...a little bit.

At the end of class, I put our names down for the next class, so I have until Monday to decide if this is something I want to pursue. The price includes 2 structured classes and 1 free play per week. It would be nice, since one of the structured classes are on Monday nights, which means Leonard could take him. I'm sure both my Leonard's would enjoy that. To be honest, my husband would probably enjoy it the most. He misses out on all the good stuff and he is such a hands-on Dad that I often feel bad that the majority of his milestones or fun activities are done with me. I do think this experience might further bond the two together, although, Leo already adores his Dad. Sadly, however, the preference for me is quite obvious. Maybe this might help turn the tables a bit.

I don't know....

I didn't know it was missing

Today, I went walking. I haven't walked in a while and it's been so sporadic and inconsistent lately that my group of ladies didn't join me. Leonard was so happy to be going out that when he realized that is what we were going to do, he ran and climbed into his stroller by himself. We did our walk and at a slower than usual pace because I couldn't bare to leave Dakota behind. She cries. We stopped a few times along the way and I stopped for a good 1/2 hour or so at the park so Leo could play.

The odd thing is, my whole house seems to be much more balanced. Memphis is not wigging out in the backyard. Leo isn't bugging about the TV as much today. In fact, he's only asked for it once (I dare to hope that we may be finally turning a corner with the whole mess).

I knew Leo looked forward to our walks, and I know Memphis NEEDS our walks...I just didn't know it would be a part that was missing from our routine if I failed to squeeze it in. All the more incentive to keep it up.

No time for boring...

Yesterday, I was bored. Today, there is so much to be done. With only a week or so left until the Bridal shower, Irene and I spent a good hour on the phone today going over details of who gets what, who orders that, who buys this...you know, basic planning details.

So now suddenly, there is much to be done and a hair appointment to squeeze in between there too. Plus I have my Activity Day girls next week, and we're meeting at my house, so I have that to get ready for as well. Aaah, I have to admit, it feels good to have a project. That is what I miss about working. Something to work on, to occupy the mind, something to feel good about. Every time I run into someone whom I haven't seen in a while, they always ask the same question, "So what are you up to these days?" and I always feel so stupid because I have absolutely nothing to say. I am a stay-at-home Mom. End of story. There isn't much to elaborate on.

So even though the shower will quickly be behind us, I have other wedding details to focus on in the immediate following that, and shortly after that, I will be starting school again. So maybe my life is a big, dull dud right now, but hopefully, I'll have more to talk about in the near future.

Thursday, Leo starts his new Mommy-n-Me classes. Although, Thursday is just a trial run. I am hesitant to commit to it because of the cost. All the city programs are full, and I've been on a waiting list for a while but that is because they are free and are good programs. So I am not sure how much longer I'll have to wait. So in the mean time, I wanted to do these other classes but like I said the cost has me reluctant to jump in with both feet. Leonard says to do it, that the cost is marginal when you break it down to a per class price, but I don't know, I'm still not sold. We'll see. Leo needs something. The kid is truly bored and needs more interaction and stimulation in other forms than the TV, as that continues to be a battle.

Anyway, I'm off!

Monkey See, Monkey Do...

Leo is at an age where he mimics all day long. Today, I received a call on my cell phone from Irene - we were discussing Bridal Shower details. As I stand there leaning against the refrigerator talking on the phone, Leo runs and grabs his toy cell phone, runs back to the kitchen and leans himself against the dishwasher directly in front of me and mimics the whole scenario.

Then later on in the evening, I had left to go to the gym and Leonard and Leo are playing in the garage (since Leonard recently made a play area there complete with carpet) while Memphis and Dakota ate their dog food and got cozy. A few moments later Leonard is sweeping up an area and from the corner of his eye, he sees Leo get down on his knees, bend over the dog's food bowl and goes to take a bite.

Monkey see, monkey do! LOL

Manic Monday

Today, I have a lot to do....or not. My life is so far away from being manic. Umm, let's see. What am I going to do today? Go to Costco, the library and sign Leo up for a new Mommy-n-Me class.

B-O-R-I-N-G.

Oh, I forgot...I've got to drop a blanket off to be embroidered that I made for a friend.

On the road again

Today we're headed back down to Southern California. Mom will be driving with me, so that she can help with Leo. Irene and I, however, will be caravan together. We plan on making a stop at a state historical site along the way...Fort Tejon.

I think Little Leo is ready to go home, although, I can say he has truly adjusted to being here. It's kinda funny. Lately, he has been doing this thing. If he gets reprimanded or you tell him no to something he wants, he'll get really upset and take whoever else is in the room by the hand and lead them out of the room. Leaving the offender to be alone. It's quite funny.

Well, last night, Nathan told him to stop harassing the dog. Leonard didn't like it and subsequently, came over and grabbed me by the hand, took me to my purse, grabbed it off the chair and dragged it and me to the front door - apparently he was ready to leave. He had had enough.

The kid makes me laugh. So anyway, today we are in the car...I'll be in touch tomorrow. Adios!

Impulse Decisions...

I am here at Anita's house - my sister's, who lives in San Jose. I decided at the last moment to come up. I've been dying to make this trip. Irene and her kids are off track right now and since Anita's kids were off this week too, they decided to visit together and do some cool stuff like go to a children's museum for technology. So I really wanted to come up too. Spend time with my sisters and my mom...how cool is that?

I decided at around 7:30 at night on Tuesday to drive up here and by 9AM the next day I was in the car. Not thinking it through thoroughly. I thought that Little Leo would have such a blast at the museum and I just wanted him to enjoy the experience.

They left for the museum a few minutes ago and we hung back. Their trip would fall smack-dab in the middle of nap time. I should have thought ahead. I decided to sit this out, because I would hate to ruin every one's fun because Leo needs a nap. He's not one to sleep in his umbrella stroller. Which is what I brought with me.

Oh well, maybe in a few more years. I've got time.

Have you ever wondered?

Have you ever wondered if they can put a man on the moon, why haven't they done it for a second time? Or, if they can program a missile to hit a target so exact, why then, can't they find a cure for cancer? Or my biggest 'have you ever wondered'...if I can plug in my ipod into a different computer, and they know the name of the device, how come they can't keep track of what music I have purchased on itunes from different locations?

I am somewhat itunes challenged, and only recently did I get my first ipod - a shuffle - which I think is like the most basic ipod they have (my Mom has a better ipod than I do). Well our home computer is getting old (you all know the deal with my decrepit computer) so originally, I loaded my ipod and music up onto Leonard's work computer. Well he changed jobs, and had to return that computer. So bye-bye went all my music.

Around Christmas time, I decided to put some effort into understanding modern technology a little better and tried fixing up my home computer. I was successful, I found a way to load my ipod and charge it from my old tower. I cleaned up the disc and now it moves at an OK speed. So I finally decided, to load itunes onto my hard drive and pick up where I left off.

Did you know they don't have my previous purchases saved on my itunes account? What the heck? They remembered my credit card information, why can't they remember I bought the Red Hot Chili Peppers disc from them too? If I am allowed to authorize up to 5 different computers access to my account then theoretically, shouldn't 5 different computers have access to my purchases too? So now, I am afraid to load new music onto my sad little shuffle because I am going to lose what music I already purchased and is rightfully mine! I need to change it up a bit, but I've got my John Mayer, and the Peppers, and Metallica - those things I am not yet willing to part with. Oh the dilema.

A hex on you, itunes!

Patience is a virtue...

Over the course of my life, thus far, I have learned many things. I have learned humility, gratitude, how to have faith, how to nurture that faith, tolerance and discipline (in certain areas ONLY). My knowledge is far from perfect, and many of those areas still need work.

Lately, however, I think the good Lord is trying to teach me patience. For the last month or so, I have felt like a volcano about to blow. There is hot lava festering below the surface, and there are bouts of hot ash and steam that get spewed out at regular intervals. Life has been quite difficult for my husband lately, I'll be the first to admit it.

I have no idea why my temper has been so short recently, and why I have been feeling angry for no real reason other than I just feel like it. I hate this feeling, because I feel out of control of my emotions. Tonight, I went to the gym, and ran and kicked my little heart out, channeling all my aggression into every crunch and sit-up. I feel a little better. I just wish I could shake these blues.

I am not in a good place right now. Which is a dangerous place for me to be in. I don't like this feeling of festering...it's blocking my aura. Ha!

Bullies

My kid is a bully. Today, he finally went to nursery (sigh). I was so proud of his achievement. However, it was not without incident. He picked on all kinds of kids. He kept pushing the other children, pulling hair, and stealing toys. When snack-time came around, he stole their food too.

Oh well, it's just another goal to work toward. Learning to coincide peacefully with others. On another note, we are making leaps and strides during Sacrament meeting. All your tips continue to help and I feel much more confident. I swear, I think he can tell when I am frazzeled and knows when to try and push it. But I am making the lobby unpleasant and brief, before re-entering into the chapel. It seems to be working thus far. But Leo has also started having temper tantrums, so I know this is just the beginning of my work.

See ya next year!

Good ridden to Valentine's Day. I was so sick of that ugly blog template I couldn't wait to be rid of it. But you know me, it had to match with the holiday.

Snuggle Bug

If you know anything about the relationship between Leonard and I you know we have a pet name for each other. We call each other "Bug" short for Love Bug. Since our Leo is such a snuggler and a little lover, we naturally began calling him "Snuggle Bug"

This morning was a perfect example of why he is my little lover. When we first get up in the morning, I allow Leo to climb into bed with me (actually I make a make-shift bed out of our bedding and pillows on the floor, but you get it) while he drinks his bottle and I allow him to watch Sesame Street. While he watches, I try to catch a few more Zzzzz's.

So this morning I am laying there, my eyes closed but he is snuggled up under my arm. Suddenly, he calls, "Mom" and scrambles around until he can reach me and give me kisses. Lots of kisses. My heart melted into a puddle of love.

I needed that this morning. After the last few, very trying days we've had. Maybe he was just so happy that I was allowing him to watch some TV.

My "South Dakota Darling"

This is a puppy picture of hers - I don't have any recent photos on my computer

South Dakota Darling is my dog - Dakota's - real name. Of course, we don't use that mouthful on an everyday basis. It was just for her pedigree papers. But the name, although we didn't know it at the time, suits her perfectly. Dakota is my sweetheart. She is a darling.

When I was pregnant, she would just lay her head on my stomach and stay there...which is unusual for her, because even though she is incredibly sweet, she is exceptionally fearful. I think the people who bred her were not very good to her. Since the moment we got her she has been afraid of people. Two years later, she still won't let just anybody come up and touch her. You have to stick your hand out and if she wants to, she'll come up to you. You'll never catch her if you just try to outright pet her. I will say this for her, she has come a long way, and we can see she is becoming more comfortable and trusting around us, we also know that, she might not ever be comfortable with human affection. Although, she is your constant companion. She will just follow you around the house and she is always at your feet.

She does let Little Leo touch her. You can see that she is just scared to death every time he pets her, but she allows him to do it all the same. Which I think is so sweet. She loves him, and since he was a baby she has been his little protector. She follows him and watches out for him - she is super cute. And I love her.

Which brings me to my post. Shortly after we got her, her hind knee went out and she had to go through a pretty serious surgery. She wasn't allowed to walk for 6 weeks, and we had to really limit her activity for a few more weeks after that. The vet told us then that, eventually, she would need surgery on her other knee, since this was a congenitive problem. Well I've noticed she's been limping a lot more than usual - she always walk with a limp - and to err on the side of caution, I took her to see Dr. Hill today. She needs her other surgery. If we don't fix that bad knee soon, she will need a second surgery on her left leg to correct the damage being done from her bad leg right now. Since she is overcompensating with her good leg for the shortcomings of her bad one and it is beginning to wear down her good leg.

He also said, she has developed some scar tissue on her left leg from the first surgery and that too much exercise is painful for her from the rubbing of the knee cap against it. He said she is ABSOLUTELY not do any running. I do 3.5 miles with her everyday! I feel so horrible, I had no idea it was painful for her. My poor baby. I am not looking forward to this next surgery, she became depressed last time and she will be so miserable without her sister, Memphis.

It's funny...she is just a dog - a family pet...but she is such a part of our little family.

I've created a monster...

Little Leo has become a TV junkie. That is ALL he wants to do. So today marks the beginning of day 3 - no TV. The first night, he threw a complete meltdown-type fit for about 20 minutes. Yesterday, there were a few fits, not as bad, but more of them throughout the day. Today, he's resorted to crying nonstop begging for the TV.

Just a few more days of this, is what I keep telling myself. If I turn on the TV now, my hard work thus far, is wasted. And it has been hard work, I tell you, I've eyed the second story window more than once.


PS. Leonard, my husband, was fine yesterday. The storm hit about 20 miles north of him. He's fine and on his way home finally!

Ho-Hum....

So all this time Leonard has been out of town I've been praying for him to have a safe flight and a safe return trip home. I never thought to expand on that. Silly me. I just heard they had a tornado in Oklahoma City and I am still unable to reach my husband as of this moment in time.

Logically, I know he is okay. If something were truly wrong, like if he were injured & in a hospital - I would have heard something by now...wouldn't I? But he's okay...I know it. It's just my over active imagination running away with me.

I wish he would call though, or text me. We always say in an emergency situation that we'll text each other. So much for all our planning...I don't know, maybe this doesn't constitute an emergency in his book.

Marsha, Marsha, Marsha!!!

Marsha is my personal trainer. I can't afford to work out with her all that often because personal training is expensive. So I go through intervals, wait for a good special to roll around, and then I pounce.

She and I have this love-hate relationship. She loves to torture me, and I hate her every minute we're together. Today, was my first session I've had with her in a long time. So of course, she did measurements first thing. It didn't go well. I knew it wouldn't. I just finished my 1-2 week lull while I recovered from my tattoo treatment, then couple that with a trip to Arizona filled with Doritos, empenadas, membrillo, wedding cake, cookies and chocolate. Of course, it was going to be bad.

Well I found that after we weighed in, Marsha was upset with me because I gained back some weight and I found that I loved her for making me weigh in and come to terms with how bad my diet has been lately.

I know that I can work out all day long, but if my eating habits aren't as they should be, my works are all wasted efforts. So, when Marsha took me out onto the floor and BEAT me up, I took with a smile on my face.

Too bad, your sweat can't come out in the form of chocolate or something like that. Then I could see my hard work instantly instead of waiting a week or two for the difference to be reflected on the scale.

Modern Conveniences

Today I am so grateful for all things modern - and one thing not so modern.

1. First, of all I am grateful for the Internet. Why? With all the bad stuff that is found on the Internet - many good things are there as well. Like of course BLOGS. This is a great way (that is free) to keep up with our family & friends that has become so spread apart. Even if you live in just the next city, life is so crazy that you may literally be 5 miles away from each other but your lives are worlds apart. This way we can check in at all hours of the day and still feel connected. Many of my friends do MySpace - and that is just not for me. I can't get into it. I did CafeMom.com for a while...but that is just a modified version of MySpace. This I like, so far.
2. I am grateful that I have a car so that I could travel to church today without getting wet. That is a major plus.
3. I am grateful for air travel. My husband is in Oklahoma this week on business and if it weren't for airplanes a 4-day trip would actually be like 2 weeks or more. I am really not educated enough to make an accurate prediction on this matter.
4. I am grateful for make-up. Although make-up was originally invented and used by the Egyptians - modern make-up covers up the worst things and no one is the wiser. Today, for example I used my mineral make-up to cover up a black eye and no body at church ever noticed! I got the black eye yesterday when Little Leo jumped on me trying to do who knows what and in the process head butted me in the eye. I knew immediately that it wouldn't be pretty today. It's not bad though, it could be worse.
5. Lastly, I am grateful that I have brothers and sisters who actually read my blog and commented a few weeks ago on a post about my misbehaving baby at church on a day I thought I was going to lose my mind. I used many of the different tactics you all suggested today and church was actually enjoyable. Mostly because the tips you guys gave actually worked - imagine that! It wasn't without hitch, but still I lived. Leo enjoyed nursery today, and I believe he is slowly becoming more comfortable with the idea.

I do have to say, Ben's comment worked the best for me. He didn't really give any real words of wisdom, per say, he just reminded me of the big picture. I know each one of you did do the same things, but something about Ben's words struck home, and struck hard.

Thanks guys!

Subtlety...

Apparently Little Leo was tired today and was ready for a nap. Leonard and I were in the kitchen talking and weren't paying too much attention to him. At one point Leonard asked, "what time is his nap time again?" I replied "1:30" being that it was only 12:30 I didn't think too much of it.

Well a few minutes later, Leo comes walking into the kitchen and right in front of us, he lays down on the ground in this "I'm soooooo tired" pose. It cracked us up, so I suggested maybe he wanted to go "night-night". He quickly scrambled up and off we went. When we reached his room, he was so excited to get into his bed and pull his blankets up and go to sleep.

Later Leonard mentioned he was laying on the floor in the family room looking over at us, when that didn't work, he decided to lay down where we were sure not to miss him or his hints.

Irene

I am very fortunate in the relationships I have with my sisters - both of them are awesome. Anita and I developed a tremendously special bond during the time I lived with her family. That bond has only strengthened in time.

However, Irene and I have always been unique. She is my best friend. I also have to say, I have been incredibly mean to her at different times over the years. But through it all, she never wavers. She is always the same and constant force in my life.

She knows me in ways not many people do. She has an ability to see to the heart of matters and is able to calm me when I've lost my cool. The only other person who can do that better than her is Leonard.

Both Anita and Irene have always be my sounding boards. They have both spent numerous hours on the phone with me, going over things that shouldn't be so complicated for most people and give me the wisdom only a big sister can. But for whatever reason, I think Irene and I were sent together. I mean, I know she was specifically meant to be my immediate older sibling.

I love her and I am grateful for her eternally. Plus I know this post will be like 2 weeks old before she ever checks my blog...and I doubt she'll ever read it all the way through. So she may never know this is here....but I just felt like sharing.

Tell me the truth

Okay, I know I am sensitive and I know that I am emotional, but does anyone feel as though they can't express things to me freely because your afraid of how I may respond? Does anyone feel as though they are on pins and needles around me?

I'm doing some soul searching here and I would like honest feedback.

Glamorous....

Motherhood is anything but glamorous. You get peed on, barfed on, showering can be inconsistent...all these things I heard about only after I became pregnant. I seriously feel these are things women ought to discuss openly so that those of us that are naive can at least make an informed decision before getting involved. Though I get food thrown at me sometimes, or I walk around with boogers on my shirt half the time I would definitely have to concede that pooping in the bathtub is my ABSOLUTELY LEAST FAVORITE PART OF MOTHERHOOD.

The first time it happened, I was so grossed out that I gagged and gagged until eventually I threw up into the bathtub already filled with bath toys and poop. So then I had a tub with toys, poop and vomit in it. Mom laughed and laughed at me when I called her afterward in near tears. She said I would get no sympathy from her. And she was right to say that, because it wouldn't be the only time that would happen to me.

Leonard poops in the tub so much, that I can almost pick out the days it is going to happen. And pathetically, Leonard (big) and I have a system down pat now on what to do when it happens. We each have our jobs. But last night, I caught him as it was happening and I immediately yelled for Leonard but in the process I scared Leo. So there he is with a big you-know-what hanging out of his rear end while he's crying basically as he stands in a toilet bowl -- and he wouldn't let me pick him up. He had to wait for Daddy to rescue him from the crazy lady screaming about how she didn't have any more plastic gloves.

I know this has happened to everybody at least once. Iris, maybe not you, but I suggest stocking up on latex gloves.

I love the pain in my rump....

Leo is a pain in my tuckous...but I love him with all my heart. Today he rolled around in the dirt in the backyard and with a dirty face met me at the screen door for a hug and a kiss. That was without prompting and even before he knew that I had food. Of course, once it was known that I had food, I got a lot more kisses.

Back to my Groove...

Okay, so everything is over and it's time to get back in the swing of things. This is always a difficult week for me, because it is the first week I am allowed back to the gym following my laser treatments for my tattoo removal. Sure I'm only off for a week but it's very easy to become complacent in such a short time. Couple that with a weekend of pigging out in Arizona...I should be going at a snail's pace but gratefully, that is not the case.

Leonard got me another set of training sessions with my trainer for Valentine's Day (what a great husband - he knows what I really want...of course I told him what I wanted - but he got it for me all the same) and I am sooooooooo ready to get back in there. When I went for my tattoo treatment I was just getting into a really good groove again, and I am so pleased it stuck around.

I began walking again this morning with the ladies and as begrudgingly as I was about allowing them into my morning regimen...I was surprised this morning to discover that I had missed them. So I am all revved up and ready to go to the gym tonight - I think I'll strap on my knee brace and hit up a step class!

Hasta!

Recap

Our trip to Arizona, though short, was AWESOME! I had the best time and can hardly wait for our return trip in April to go watch the Easter Pageant there. From beginning to end, the gods were shining on our trip. Okay...that is a bit dramatic but you get the point.

Little Leo -awesome. He slept - awesome. He played - awesome. It was fantastic. The first day we got there, he was immediately comfortable (as previously stated in my last post) and immediately fell in love with Tristan and Kendra upon their arrival Friday afternoon. We chatted and caught up on everything from each member of our families to what the girls were doing in school. Then we got on Skype and chatted up Betina for a few minutes.

The wedding was short and sweet. The reception was only 2 hours but we managed to get there only a half hour late (for a house FULL of women, that was pretty good). Everyone was there except Chiquita and Gary. We saw ALL of the Kleins - Michael's twin girls are soooooooooo cute. David and Denise's kids are HUGE and all grown up. Sabrina's baby who is only 3 weeks younger than Leo is super tiny and very adorable. Christine is beginning to look a whole lot like Tia Marta but other than that she still somehow looks the same. Uncle Rick and Tia Lydia were there too. They're leaving to Uruguay next month with Ann and Lisa's respective families.

Tia Olga fell as we were leaving for the wedding and sprained her ankle, unfortunately. Thank goodness Chris was there to assist her with walking. She claims to have fallen by tripping on the girl's bags but we all know it was from the 3 inch stiletto heels she was sporting.

We ate good food - all Uruguayan favorites (empanadas, pasqualina, flan, and membrillo), we drank mate and malta, we laughed and had a great time. Gabriela, Chris and I stayed up until nearly 2 AM just catching up and talking. It was great.

My favorite part though, had to have been the drive home. Silly as it sounds, it's true. I love being able to sit and talk with Mom for hours like that. I learn so much about her. And when I say I learn so much about her, I do not mean her - Elsa, my mom...I mean her - Elsa, the person. She is such an amazing woman and I am continually blessed by her presence in my life.

All in all - it was a great trip.