Today Leonard and I had a funeral to attend. We both found it to be rather difficult and we both have been reflecting on it all day long. The funeral was for my brother-in-law's best friend. They have been friends since they were in first grade! Not just friends, but really more like brothers. In high school, his friend's home life fell apart and even came to live with my BIL and his family. They were roommates after college, the best man in each other's weddings and for the last 5 years worked together.
Just before Christmas 2007, his friend started having strange tingling sensations and began noticing a loss of strength on one side of his body. In January 2008, he was diagnosed with ALS or Lou Gehrig's disease. It is a deterioration of the nervous system and a hardening of the spinal cord. Your mind remains in tack and completely cognizant of everything around you, but little by little you lose control over your body. Those suffering from the disease typically survive 1-3 years from time of diagnosis.
The saddest part of this whole thing, aside from watching the best friend you ever had, and the closest thing you have to a brother slowly wither away and die, is watching what he was leaving behind. He had 3 young boys, ages 10, 6 and 4. It's always hardest watching the ones who are left behind. I used to feel so bad for the one who died, then I lost my Dad and I realized that dying is the easy part, the hard part is picking up the pieces and moving on.
Of course as you sit there and watch his wife console their 4 year old son, you cant help but think what if that were me? What if it were me burying my husband with a young son? That is what struck Leonard and I the hardest today. The thought that someday one of us will bury the other. I don't look forward to that day whether it be 10 or 40 years from now. He is my best friend, my companion, my everything.
All day we both have held each other a little more tenderly, and we've said "I love you" a few times more than the average day but we just can't shake that sense of saddness. Our hearts go out to his family and they will remain in our prayers.
Just before Christmas 2007, his friend started having strange tingling sensations and began noticing a loss of strength on one side of his body. In January 2008, he was diagnosed with ALS or Lou Gehrig's disease. It is a deterioration of the nervous system and a hardening of the spinal cord. Your mind remains in tack and completely cognizant of everything around you, but little by little you lose control over your body. Those suffering from the disease typically survive 1-3 years from time of diagnosis.
The saddest part of this whole thing, aside from watching the best friend you ever had, and the closest thing you have to a brother slowly wither away and die, is watching what he was leaving behind. He had 3 young boys, ages 10, 6 and 4. It's always hardest watching the ones who are left behind. I used to feel so bad for the one who died, then I lost my Dad and I realized that dying is the easy part, the hard part is picking up the pieces and moving on.
Of course as you sit there and watch his wife console their 4 year old son, you cant help but think what if that were me? What if it were me burying my husband with a young son? That is what struck Leonard and I the hardest today. The thought that someday one of us will bury the other. I don't look forward to that day whether it be 10 or 40 years from now. He is my best friend, my companion, my everything.
All day we both have held each other a little more tenderly, and we've said "I love you" a few times more than the average day but we just can't shake that sense of saddness. Our hearts go out to his family and they will remain in our prayers.
5 comments:
That's awful. I'm so sorry to hear about their loss, but I'm glad you and Leonard were able to take away a precious and meaningful lesson from that tragedy. It's good to remember how much you have.
How sad! I'm absolutely terrified of the day that John and I will be separated by death. TERRIFIED!! And I pray that it's later rather than sooner. I can't imagine having to console a 4-year-old. That's just awful. Thanks for reminding me of what's important.
I'm so sorry for their family. Our thoughts and prayers go to their family!
It's relieving to read that you have held each other closer today. It's the best thing to do after this happens. :(
Wow...that is very sad. We saw that same thing in our old ward in Fontana. You penned your thoughts beautifully & I'm so sorry for what happened.
We love you guys.
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