Good Friends

Growing up, I always had friends. The problem was, I never had good friends. Years ago, when I decided to turn my life around and get sober I realized I had to rid myself of all the people who would hinder the process. When all was said and done, I had rid myself of everyone - literally. For years I had no friends. It was a very lonely and very difficult time in my life.

In the past few years, I finally managed to make a few friends. I found that making friends had becoming something very strained for me. It was not a natural thing, I had really become introverted and social situations had become something very far outside my comfort zone. However, while I had managed to make friends, I never made close friends. In the last year or so, I finally managed to make a few really good friends.

During this move, I realized a few things. I needed help, I couldn't just do it all on my own like I was used to. At 8.5 months pregnant, it was all so much harder than I thought it could be. I really under estimated the toll it would take on me. I thought, I'm in good shape, I'm active, I can do it. I was wrong. I've also realized I have a really hard time accepting help from others. I've just grown so accustomed to doing things on my own for so long, that asking for help is so much harder than making friends. I just can't do it.

Saturday was moving day (part 1). We got up early and were up and running. At 7:30 AM I get a text from a dear, dear friend that she had left something on my doorstep. It was a little care package with lots of sweet little notes and loads of goodies. It was one of the nicest things anyone has done for me in a long, long time. It was simple and sweet and just because and it just meant a lot.

Then, the men had all showed up and everyone was getting to work. I still had a lot of cleaning left to do at the house. I had been working there for 2 days already and was really tired and was having a tough time. I literally was praying just to make it through the day. I was getting ready to load my car and head on over to the other house when 2 of my friends showed up. They, with many other people, had offered their help, I just couldn't get myself to say "Yes, come help me" even though that is what I really needed. So they just showed up. Which was exactly the right thing to do.

We headed over to the house and they had everything finished in a matter of 2 hours. It would have taken me much longer. I was so grateful. Then, I get another text from another dear friend saying she feels as though she should be doing more for me and what could she do to help. I was so overwhelmed to see all this out pouring of help and attention from my friends.

Granted, the key it turned out was someone just showing up to help me but I really, really, really appreciated it. What I appreciate more is their friendship. For the first time in probably 7 years, I can say I have friends and it feels good. I didn't realize how much I missed having girlfriends and I'm really glad to have them.