Saturday is Leo's birthday. Most of you know how I feel about parties -- I think that for us with our family situation parties are a waste of time, effort and money for any child under the age of at least 4. I figure if I am going to exert so much effort into coordinating a party, I want my child to be able to at least understand what the heck all the hoop-la is about. I don't want to throw a party for other people's kids...no offense, I mean, I am happy to have children come celebrate with us, but when my kid won't even get to enjoy it, I see no point. So for Leo's birthday, we've decided a trip to Disneyland would be much better. He's very into Disney right now, and I think he will enjoy it so much more.
Leonard's sister, loves to throw parties. She thinks it is awful of me not to give him a party. What we've also decided to do is to get together Friday night for some birthday cake with our families. Now keep in mind, that just our 2 families together (and only the ones who live locally) is 35 people. That does not include friends or even all of our families. But in his sister's mind, 35 people is a "party" and is insisting on a pinata or something more.
How do I explain to her, that I just don't want any of that? We don't have any where to do a pinata in the first place. We are not opening gifts, I've actually requested no gifts be brought, although, I know Leonard's family will bring them anyway. It's not dinner, it's cake and ice cream. No party games -- just cake and ice cream and a few appetizers. I finally had to tell her, that parties is what she does for her kids, that she is the one who enjoys the big production, and that is all good and fine for her kids, but for our family we do things differently, we do low key and laid back.
Part of my reason also for not wanting a "party" is because to me, a party is something you get to invite the whole family to, you invite friends, and you do all the party games and of course the pinata. But understand, that between our 2 families we are talking almost 120 people! That doesn't include our friends or even Leo's friends.
Leonard and I enjoy things in a much more intimate setting. That's how we like to do things, am I wrong? I don't feel I should have to do something to impress somebody -- I do not feel the need to keep up with anyone. I hate that I have to explain myself. I am almost tempted to call the whole thing off and just go to Disneyland as we originally planned.
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8 comments:
You're not wrong. It's your family; you should be able to do things your way. She can have all the parties she wants on her own time.
I think it's very generous of you to compromise with a family gathering for cake, but you definitely don't have to go any further.
Boundaries are our friend.
This reminds me of "a plethera a pinatas!" (my favorite line from The Three Amigos).
I can totally relate, Liz. We must be family. Also, I guess this means you won't be offended if I don't make it Friday. Lettie & the kids are coming, but I am going to a Scout training meeting - right down the street in your church building!
Hang in there. Ben
Okay...if you'd like my opinion...read on.
First of all Disneyland is a GREAT idea and it's not cheap and you're gonna need a vacation just from taking your kid there.
2nd, I would NOT have invited the family at all. If someone said, "Hey...why don't I bring a cake to celebrate your kid's birthday?" To that I would say..."GREAT! Invite your parents."
With the B's...we would have been happy if at the next family get together-you simply brought cake or cupcakes and said, "How's about singing HB to Leo since it's his birthday this month."
On the bright side...Lil' Leo will get more family unity in and honestly...you cannot put a price on these times where family ties just bring you that much closer.
What I've totally come to realize is that people, especially the ones you're closest too...they try to get you to be a "mirror" of who they are. If they love dancing...they want you to dance too. If she likes parties....she wants you to party! It's all in the SPIRIT of SHARING the things that make life a blessing. When you turn 40...you're really and truly not going to give a hoot about what anyone thinks or at least you won't be behooved by that kind of stuff. It's a great life. HAVE FUN @ DISNEYLAND!
Wow Liz, You and my husband see eye to eye on this topic. I completely agree with you and with what you are doing. If I felt that way, we would do things that way too.
As for me and Eddie's first birthday, I want it to be a big deal. Only because it's' his first birthday. But I am for sure that after that, I don't want to put in the effort when he will not understand. I know how much work and effort it takes. Just the thought makes me want to go back to bed LOL!
What I really dig is the pictures. I love looking back at group pictures and remembering the day.
I LOOOOOVE your idea of taking Leo to Disneyland. I can't wait to see pictures of that :) How old is Leo going to be?
Iris has a point. The pictures say a thousand words and at some point in time very late in you life, you will cherish those pictures. You know what I mean?
I think that you are right too! For me going to Disneyland is a party, and we did that a lot with our own kids. As the kids got older they knew that on their special day they got to choose a restaurant for dinner, and attend a movie of their choice. It was fun and we have a lot of great memories that way! :)
Hey, I say you can do what you want to do. I'm with you--I don't want to do anything big until he knows what it is! For Jonathan's first we had family over for cupcakes and presents. BUT, we don't have anything more than my immediate family in the area, so that's not much. And Disneyland sounds like it's for LEO, and not for others. But, do what makes you feel comfortable. I can understand family wanting to celebrate with him though--he is a cutie :)
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